Yup. Always a compromise. While I’m a great believer in stepping outside of our comfort zone when addressing sexism (and the phrases in my book often require that), — context is everything.
But definitely — we’re not sticking it to them if we’re giving them what they want. The only time we’d be doing that is if we were really un-replacable and women in that position aren’t usually treated as badly in the first place.
I have a friend who works in a notoriously male-dominated place, renowned for sexual harassment and worse. When I asked her about her experiences she said she’d had very little of it because she has the information they need to do their work. It’s all about power.