You make some great points and I appreciate your willingness to have these conversations. I'd like to add a few things -

"Being with someone who is less motivated .. is going to cause tension." Not necessarily. I know many couples who are yin and yang in this. We are often attracted to an opposite type. You actually make this point at the end when talking about the best teams being a puzzle that fits together. Lack of morivation isn't always a bad thing.

There are some words/phrases in the piece that I believe serve to maintain some of the gender steroetypes you're seeking to dismantle:

(6) - The Man - (Yes, I disagree). Obviously not many women want to be the only one making the arrangements in the relationship, but asking men to play their part is asking them to be an equal in this, and not "The man". Women can do all these things. But please let's drop "chivalry" as a trait. It's not as charming as some think.

(7) - LET her spread her wings? Hoo boy. Whatever the intent of this paragraph, wrong choice of word here. It may sound pedantic, but anything smacking of giving permission to the woman is not the message we want to send.

Thanks.