Two thoughts (having lived thru this) -

1. "In one 2020 study, 72% of fathers said they were doing an equal share of household labour, but only 44% of mothers agreed." - I bet the dads weren't including the organizing stuff that gets done mostly by the mothers. They might take the rubbish out and empty the dishwasher, but if you ask them when the kids' next dental appointments are they'd be stuck. That stuff adds to the workload.

2. We women in this situation need to take the foot off the gas and let the dads step in. And - we need to allow ourselves the same amount of time for "me" stuff. A lot of men I've heard over the years would have been ok with mothers playing golf (or the equivalent), but the women just didn't do it. There are many things I'd do differently now that I have my 20-20 hindsight, and one of the biggies is taking more time out for myself.