This is only going to get worse unless addressed. I don't imagine many co-parents would respond well to being asked to list what they do all day.

This isn't a competition either. You have 3 small children; it's a tough time for parents and as many others have said, one of the hardest parts is never having a second to yourself when you're with them all day.

If the house really is filthy and it doesn't seem to bother her (although we don't know that), there might be some depression involved. She might be regretting her decision to jump off the career path. Who knows?

I'd suggest some couples counselling. Your approach to the problem isn't solving anything so perhaps a new perspective?