Think you’ve just done a classic Whitesplain with a side order of Mansplain.
Seriously, very few white people think it’s OK to dig their hands into another white person’s hair or stroke it for that matter. When admiring each others’ hair we don’t touch it — if only because we don’t know how much damage we would do messing with it — but we don’t. It’s not polite. It crosses a line. It invades someone’s space.

If I phrase this in terms of sexist behaviour it might be clearer (but I’m not getting my hopes up) — if a guy wants to tell me he likes my hair, he’d better not touch it unless he’s my partner. Anything else is not OK.

Adding a power dynamic into the mix makes it far less OK, and much more invasive. When the person who doesn’t hold the power in the moment tells you it’s not OK, they don’t need to hear your “alternative”. You just need to listen and respect that.