PERHAPS WE SHOULD ALL “CARE” A LITTLE LESS
Have you ever noticed how many caring people there are on social media? I used to be one of those — couldn’t let a comment box go empty, Googled answers for people who were perfectly capable of doing it themselves. Now I’m practicing scrolling on by and leaving it to others to get into the melee that often ensues.
Online “caring” comes in a slew of flavors. There’s the “I’m no expert but…” variety, which was seen in all its hilarious glory recently on Twitter, following a question from @emrazz, aka “feminist next door”. She tweeted:
“Med twitter: why do menstrual cramps seem to get worse on airplanes?” and the whole of non-Med twitter helpfully responded. Lenny (of course it’d be a guy) suggested “Changes in air pressure, just chew gum!”. Thomas at least had the decency to admit his ignorance- “No comment, (because I’m a guy)”, but still felt the need to show us that he cared enough to comment anyway. Darryn tweeted — “It’s from being closer to the Moon, which is what causes menstruation” but I’m pretty sure that was tongue in cheek.
It’s the same on Facebook. A quick request for legal advice (will we ever learn?) has people fervently giving their own experiences, links to out-dated, irrelevant statutes, and everything but legal advice. Even if we were to state “Please don’t comment if you’re not a lawyer” we’d get, “I’m no lawyer but…” as if that in any way excuses the drivel that is about to pour forth.
Then there’s competitive caring. You know, the “anyone got a recommendation for a good chiropractor/vacation spot/pizzeria?” post that you know is going to go t**s up almost as soon as the second recommendation comes in. Every commenter might as well type “Choose me” at the end of their suggestion, and you can almost hear the disappointment when the poster “likes” every single one of them. No one gets the first round prize, so the ante is upped with the ritual dissing of everyone else’s recommendations. “I ate there only last week and it was dire”, “You clearly haven’t used them recently because…” and the worst “That’s above most people’s budget”. This one’s a zinger because you’re hit with not only being wrong but living in a bubble. (Hint — just leave it.)
“Caring” about a cause also makes people post responses that are totally unrelated to the issue at hand. There’s usually a trigger word in there somewhere, and Bang! Suddenly they’re unable to read to the end of a sentence; they just want to unload. Often their comment is a fair one, but it’s so unrelated to yours that it comes in as a swipe and well, it’s every person for themselves at that point. No amount of “read my comment again” or “that’s not the issue here” is good enough. And god forbid that anyone whipped into that kind of frenzy would back down and say “Fair point” or “My bad”. Somehow that dilutes the caring they want to demonstrate.
A lot of people seem to care very much about posters they know little about. This comes in the form of “Please get help” and “You need to chill”. I deleted a comment on my local FB page this week from Richard-who-lives-down-the-street, but doesn’t know me. Having failed to grasp the sarcastic humor in the thread (not just from me), Richard advised me to “lighten up” and find “something more worthwhile” to invest my time in. (This is code for “I don’t give a hoot about this so neither should you”, by the way.) I could have pointed out the social implications of ignoring what we were discussing, but seriously? Life’s too short. Besides, the rest of the group piled on, leaving me with time to invest in something more worthwhile.
Yup, I’m gettin’ the hang of it.
