Most of this judging, I've always felt, stems from insecurity; always looking around to see what everyone else is doing, seeking praise and confirmation that our way is the right way. In parenting, we went from striving to be the perfect doing-it-all mother, to slacker mum who claims to have "feral" children (but would secretly be horrified at really feral children).

And yes, it's the mixed messages from our patriarchal society that keep women on their toes, worrying about what and how we're doing, whether we'll regret our choices, screw up our kids or die a lonely death (with cats).

Screw all that.