I agree with every part of this. Asking and worse, expecting, victims to forgive anyone who has harmed them is abuse. Pure and simple. It piles on to the pain, trauma and life damage caused by racism.

In case any white woman is reading this and 'not quite agreeing' - I wrote a similar sentiment the other day about sexism. If you look at this piece through the sexism lens it gives a glimpse, (I stress "glimpse".)

-" The only person who gets to decide how victims should feel or speak about their pain are victims."